In the book Women Without Kids, writer Ruby Warrington explores why we need to reframe the way we as a society talk about women who choose not to have kids. In this excerpt, Warrington shares a thought exercise to help you uncover where you fall on the “Motherhood Spectrum”—from Affirmative No to Absolute Yes.
Given the emotional charge of the word “mother,” now see what happens when you strip this away and instead place your nonnegotiables within the context of parenthood. That is, the responsibility for feeding, sheltering, nurturing, and educating small human beings. The psychological, intellectual, moral, and emotional labor of raising well-rounded, secure adults. What version of yourself do you see in this picture? Is she largely content with her lot? Relishing being the mistress of her own universe and its subjects? Or is she harried, resentful, and out of her depth? Maybe, again, it’s a combination of all of the above. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, and none of what comes up makes you a good or a bad person.